Many of you already know this - I’m a parent, a stepparent, and even a grandparent. Yes, I’ve been parenting for a long...long...time! So much of what I have created with Game Plan Parenting came from putting a little distance between myself and all the things I could have done differently if I had known then what I know now. But since we can’t go back in time and do it all over again, and hindsight is 20/20, let me impart a little hindsight of my own with this love letter to my adult children...
To my Dear Kids & Stepkids,
If I were to look in the rear view mirror at our family over the years, I would probably notice a few more things than I did when I was in the moment, trying to figure it all out.
I would have noticed that when you were throwing what I thought was an outrageous tantrum, that you had some pretty big feelings going on at the time. I couldn’t see them, because I was caught up in thinking I needed to control you. I...
Parenting from the heart should come pretty easy, right? WRONG! Yes, we love our kids, but we may not always like them. And we don’t always love the challenges many of them come with. Time to face reality - whether you believe it or not, EVERY family has challenges - some big, some little. For that reason, we all can become bone-weary from the toll that takes on a mom and dad.
And guess what...that’s okay. It’s okay to have a bad day. It’s okay to lose it. It’s okay to feel like you’re fed up and want to run away from home. But once you’ve had an opportunity to escape to your favorite hiding place or indulge in a good night’s sleep there are some things you can do to reflect on your situation to keep expanding your parenting wisdom.
Two Powerful Perspectives - Love and Fear
Parenting from the heart is about shifting from a perspective of fear to one of love - even in the most difficult of times. If we don’t, we can lose sight of...
Sometimes as a mom you feel like you're running on fumes. With everything we have to juggle with our children, partners, work, home, family... the list is never-ending. Sometimes it just doesn't feel sustainable.... or is it? Sounds like you need a little bit of sustainability for yourself! Personal Sustainability is taking the concept that you need to take care of yourself and create systems to sustain yourself, otherwise you may just... start breaking down. Here's a little insight into What personal sustainability is, why you need it and how you can use what we call a "Parenting Tribe of Allies" to help you keep it up!
Personal Sustainability is finding systems to make sure that you and your well-being are sustainable. Sustainable means, by definition, "able to be maintained or upheld at a certain rate or level." Defining what your values and beliefs are, and then figuring out a system that can help you to uphold...
I used to think it was just women from my generation (yeah...I’m a boomer) that felt like being a mom WAS their sole purpose!
Pardon my mini-generalization here...being a mom IS truly one of the most incredible things a woman can do but when you’re buried in laundry and carting kids in carpools, you might forget who that lovely lady is looking back at you in the mirror.
Where did she go? Nowhere, that’s where. But while you were listening to Baby Shark blasting in your minivan, you stopped listening to your own voice - the one that says, you’re pretty darn cool.
I bow in honor to any mom out there who never stopped listening to that voice! You are truly a goddess and if you can share your secret, I believe you could solve all the problems of mankind!
But, unfortunately, many, many of us DO lose the ability to hear the voice coming from our very own core - that place where we know who we are and what we’re all about.
Truly connecting with another human is simply what we’re made for! Humans need other humans! That goes doubly for parents and kids. Maybe we made them, but they come into this world, beautiful and uniquely their own little beings. That’s why we need to be VERY intentional if we are going to genuinely connect with them.
Establishing strong connections with your kids is the foundation that underlies all the other parts of your family. It’s about forging a deep understanding of love, trust, and commitment, and that, my friends, takes intentional effort to make it happen. It requires you to be present, empathetic, sprinkled with a keen sense of awareness of one another in order to lay this vital groundwork!
What if I told you that it’s not about establishing who’s the boss, or creating some sort of power strategy, but rather, creating a structure of emotional safety, boundaries, and deep understanding that will establish a solid core where values, thoughts,...
Happy New Year Mommas! Have you made your lists of intentions/goals/resolutions? Whatever you call them – we all make ‘em, and we all break ‘em!
As moms, we are so conditioned to put others first and if there’s any bit of strength left at the end of the day, (which there isn’t!) you might get to it…or not. And when does that happen? When your head hits the pillow in exhaustion. Okay, I’ll give you that…sleep is great self-care. However, there is so much more…so, so much more.
If there’s one MUST HAVE for your 2020 list, it is mindfulness. Yep, mindfulness is the key to your very best self-care. In fact, it is THE very thing you need in order to get deeply in touch with what YOU need. Self-care is not the same for everyone and the only way you can find out what you need is to tune in deeply to yourself, and mindfulness is your channel.
When we practice mindfulness, we...
When you hear the word ‘tradition’, what do you think of? Of course, I immediately think about Fiddler on the Roof and the word ‘TRADITION’ booming in song! A very old memory indeed, but isn’t that what traditions are all about? Old and familiar ways of doing things…a place to go for comfort and routine.
When it comes to the holidays, ‘tradition’ is truly the essence of the season. We pass down lots of past family practices like; putting the same ornaments on the tree, using the same tablecloth and decorations, or cooking the same dishes and special treats.
Tradition is defined as "the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way." And just like routines, traditions offer safety and structure to our kids – an opportunity to pause, take stock and spend time together - something families can benefit from all year round.
Less is more, right? But when is more, better? When it comes to clutter, less is DEFINITELY more! But when it comes to abundance…well more is ALWAYS better! Many of us think of abundance as having a lot of everything; material or otherwise. But... what if abundance wasn’t so much about what you have, but the value you place on what you have?
Also, here’s the real question… What IS abundance, why is it great for parenting, and who is abundance’s negative nelly cousin Scarcity? (Newsflash, he can TOTALLY derail your abundance mindset!) And HOW can we help grow abundance in your family??
So let’s get down to brass tacks. Abundance is knowing and trusting there is always enough. With an attitude of abundance you have a sense of purpose, feeling of well-being and are constantly expressing and living gratitude. This sets the stage for ‘win-win’ opportunities!
So who is this Scarcity we talk about, then? Scarcity is Abundance’s not so...
Whether you are a new parent, or a seasoned one there is one thing we have all come into contact with.... well meaning grandparents. Usually they want to know how your doing, or how to help, but it can really end up sounding more like a string of questions, opinions and judgments. You want to keep a great relationship with them, but sometimes it can feel overwhelming! So, what is the key to creating a healthy, happy relationship for everyone? Boundaries!
I’m not here to tell you HOW to parent, but rather to help you and your partner create boundaries that empower your parenting without disrupting your relationships. However, setting those boundaries does not have to be stressful. Here’s 4 steps to setting powerful boundaries:
Um…so how did “Holidays, Round 1” go for you? I like to think of Thanksgiving as the first round of dealing with all those lovely holiday triggers that can come from being around people who know us so well…including all of our pressure points!
Did you hear anything like, “I just don’t understand why you would let your son/daughter do that…”, or “If that were me, I wouldn’t let my son/daughter talk to me like that…” Everyone wants to know how you’re doing, but it just sounds like a string of questions, opinions, and judgments!
AHHH…not so fun…You probably found yourself sneaking into the kitchen to stuff another piece of pumpkin pie into your mouth to keep yourself from doing or saying something that could start another round of Family Feud!
Family time can bring out the best and the worst in all of us…I get it. However, it’s also an opportunity to step back a little and...
As Parents, it's inevitable that we have to help our kids weather "The Storm" of conflict!
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