The Four Steps to Avoiding Holiday Conflict: Parenting Edition

Um…so how did “Holidays, Round 1” go for you? I like to think of Thanksgiving as the first round of dealing with all those lovely holiday triggers that can come from being around people who know us so well…including all of our pressure points!

Did you hear anything like, “I just don’t understand why you would let your son/daughter do that…”, or “If that were me, I wouldn’t let my son/daughter talk to me like that…” Everyone wants to know how you’re doing, but it just sounds like a string of questions, opinions, and judgments!

AHHH…not so fun…You probably found yourself sneaking into the kitchen to stuff another piece of pumpkin pie into your mouth to keep yourself from doing or saying something that could start another round of Family Feud!

Family time can bring out the best and the worst in all of us…I get it. However, it’s also an opportunity to step back a little and decide how you want to handle it before you devour more than your fair share of pie to avoid conflict! Here's the four steps:

Stop – Stop assuming that everyone has bad intentions. Instead of repeating your usual wounded habits, what if you just reminded yourself that these are the people who love you the most, and most likely, their intentions come from love.

Look - Everyone has their own pair of perspective lenses they look through – and it might not be the same as yours…That’s okay…perspectives are just that – a way we try to make sense of the world around us.

Listen – Listen to your own heart. Practice a little self-compassion and allow yourself some time afterwards to process what’s going on for you. When you take something personally, that’s because it’s about something deeper inside of you. Tend to that…

Remember – And just remember, remember, REMEMBER – what someone says or does, is a reflection of what’s going on inside of them! Cousin Bob might be questioning how you handle your kids, because he might be having his own troubles in that area!

Here is your Post-Thanksgiving, Pre-Christmas Challenge!!! Practice these 4 Steps over the next few weeks and get ready to have a meaningful, fulfilling holiday season, and then share your stories!!


As Parents, it's inevitable that we have to help our kids weather "The Storm" of conflict!

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